Why does the world bother me these days? Probably this whole social distancing thing, with the overhead at Lowes announcing “6 feet please” every few minutes, half the crowd walking about with masks, the line to get in, the line to get out. The world is unrecognizable. Feels like something out of a bad science fiction movie. But I’ve said that before. Okay, take a deep breath. This will pass.
In my world we find a vaccine soon, a cure soon after, and everyone in the world is rendered resistant. The disease is eradicated.
The economy is so pleased with the situation that it soars, and people’s businesses pop back up on the map. Society buys local and supports small businesses…and the 21st century Renaissance kicks off. Creativity and artwork spread rapidly, as well as invention, science, and math, for now man sees the light and appreciates it.
Iran and America engage in warm handshakes. Russia changes its national language to American. Americans look to China for camaraderie. China is touched at the offer of brotherhood – it’s been a long time since a western country has accepted them for who they are – and a dozen healthy trade treaties are reached.
Oh, the enthusiasm! Oh, the passion! The president befriends Europe. He befriends nature. He befriends the World Health Organization. He even befriends the democrats.
Spain opens its flamenco bars and the crowds sing in unison. Australia opens its borders. The unicycle is back – and popular. People travel afar with this little device, and the world’s health improves dramatically.
Travel and cruising take on popularity too, and ships cruise the oceans stopping at every port and handing out free drinks (without going bankrupt). Flights aren’t too cheap or too expensive. Planes now offer more legroom to suit a giant (a wonderful aftermath of social distancing), and the airplane industry does amazingly well There’s a rush on flight schools and small planes as society craves the sky. Everyone wants to become members of the Mile High Club too, but that’s another story.
Adults crave university. Kids crave school. There’s a new run on learning, and society gains twenty IQ points as its people delve into grammar, math, philosophy, and microbiology.
Medical and nursing schools burst at the seams with wannabee medical professionals, for now society is proud of its providers. Medical workers are now rock stars, and everyone wants to be a rock star. The effect is sensational. “Public health has improved 600% since the Coronavirus,” says one newly emerged nurse. “People want to be healthier. Now they want to visit parks and lose weight, and now there are enough professionals to help them.” Cost of healthcare has dropped, but somehow provider income hasn’t, and though no one knows where the extra money is coming from (actually donations from a group of anonymous rock stars), everyone is pleased with the situation.
Bloggers thrive. Tragedy and death jumpstart life. Isolation for a month jumpstarts a tremendous need to think and express. Bloggers think and express through written word, and now written words thrive. Why thrive? The world has a new fixation on internet reading; after all, the internet has been their best friend for the past four months. They’re hooked, a giant society-wide eye desperate for reading material. And what’s better for a blogger than an intellectually hungry crowd of readers? There’s room for everyone. In Iraq someone blogs, “23 Post-Corona Beers You Just Have to Try.” In England, “23 Post-Corona Jokes that Have Nothing to Do with the Virus.” In a little town in North Carolina, “23 Post-Corona Positive Outcomes with the Occasional Corona Joke.” In South Africa someone responds with, “To Hell with Positive Outcomes, Just Gimme Back my Beer Without Any Stupid Comments.”
But it’s mental health that benefits most in my little paradise eutopia. Schizophrenics step back from their delusions and become fantastic novelists. Addiction is replaced by healthy obsession – addicts are now thriving geniuses, pushing the world forward. Their worth is appreciated Families embrace them with pride. Depression raises its wary head and remembers how to smile. A smile is a window to joy, something everyone can access for free, and the world learns about happiness. Anxiety drives great philosophical writings, with new Descartes and Artistotles surfacing as people ask the right questions.
Oh, that’s just a start. The post-Corona world is a place of poetry and giggling children. Crime is eradicated. Poverty disappears. Exhaustless cars ride the roads. Cows learn how to speak human languages, and everyone becomes a vegetarian. Aliens visit humanity, and we learn that the universe is kind. God herself makes a presence, and we remember that life has meaning.
Anyway. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
Leave a Reply